Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

:iconsarahtriceratops: More from SarahTriceratops


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
February 4, 2013
File Size
1.2 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
535
Favourites
41 (who?)
Comments
44
×
Cotton candy hair,
Beautiful girl
Shiny green eyes
Melting my heart
A day at a time

Love letters,
Sent through the mail
Gifts for my girl
A pillow in return

A bit of distance
Soon to end
Holding me close
Something to look forward to

Craving your lips
Wanting your kiss
My bed is empty
Big enough for two

Love,
Buried deep under fear
Something I find hard to accept
Loving someone of the same sex

You tell me not to be afraid
The voice of an angel
Is oh so convincing

Your arms spread like wings
Warming my heart
Almost ready,
To be who we are

A kiss from you
Something that is a trigger
My body would tremble
Maybe even shiver

Princess,
You will be mine
Our love,
Can last forever

Just like in the movies
And all the love songs
Your smile will be real
You'll get what you desire

Our bodies will be together
Like ours minds have been,
All along,
My beautiful lesbian lover
A poem about the girl who is deep in my heart.
Add a Comment:
 

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

:iconthefoxysquirrel:
thefoxysquirrel Jan 1, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Pure drivel. It is all content focused and  there is not even a smidgen of intentionality or thoughtfulness with regards to the use of poetic devices. This is the written version of motel art. It is all about content, and there is no attempt to display mastery or any kind of skill with the medium.

"look at the pretty picture!" = "aww! look at the cute poem by the queer... it's soooo DEEP."

I refer you to Yeats, Cummings, Whitman, Donne... poetry should make an attempt to use all aspects of language to support its themes and meanings. This is why poetry has died... ill informed people such as yourself and your "fans" are completely ignorant of  what true poetry is capable of achieving. It requires mastery of language, syntax, and metaphor. To you and those of your ilk, poetry is nothing more than the emotional regurgitation of a tortured soul, a place for outcasts to express themselves... well, i suppose it has become that.

The masters of poetry were masters of language itself and they strove to utilize all aspects of their language. To the poet, words were precise surgical tools, the page an operating table. Their aim was to give a definite feeling, mood, idea to the listener. You cannot disagree. Read the masters. Take note of their rhythm, rhyme, diction, syntax... you know, the things you didn't think about ONCE while "composing" this tripe.

Btw... I do hope you get the help you need for your sexual problems. God speed.
Reply
:iconsarahtriceratops:
SarahTriceratops Jan 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I wrote this poem when I was 16. I don't believe any of the legendary poets you mentioned wrote their best work at 16. I also do not care about your opinion on homosexuality. 
Reply
:iconthefoxysquirrel:
thefoxysquirrel Jan 2, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
HAHA! I can guarantee they were waaayyyy ahead of the curve at least.

Btw... Alfred Lord Tennyson was called a master of poetry while still a teenager.... :)

Again, best of luck to you with your condition.
Reply
:iconthefoxysquirrel:
thefoxysquirrel Jan 1, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
I am very sorry for your condition. I truly hope you receive the help you require. God speed.
Reply
:iconthefoxysquirrel:
thefoxysquirrel Jan 2, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Ignorant of what? I know exactly what I believe and why.

Bigotry? You call it bigotry, I call it discretion.

We all judge the behavior of others. Is rape wrong? Yes. You see? You judge behavior too. We simply draw different boundaries. My boundaries are those set forth by God. Yours come from.... who and what exactly? Your rock solid "gut" feelings that homosexuality is fine? Because of course, feelings are unchangeable and always correct... 0_o

I know why I believe what I do. Do you know why you believe what you believe?
Reply
:iconsarahtriceratops:
SarahTriceratops Jan 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I don't have a condition, but you clearly do. Your condition is ignorance and bigotry. 
Reply
:iconthefoxysquirrel:
thefoxysquirrel Jan 2, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Ignorant of what? I know exactly what I believe and why.

Bigotry? You call it bigotry, I call it discretion.

We all judge the behavior of others. Is rape wrong? Yes. You see? You judge behavior too. We simply draw different boundaries. My boundaries are those set forth by God. Yours come from.... who and what exactly? Your rock solid "gut" feelings that homosexuality is fine? Because of course, feelings are unchangeable and always correct... 0_o

I know why I believe what I do. Do you know why you believe what you believe?
Reply
:iconsarahtriceratops:
SarahTriceratops Jan 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yes, I do know why I believe what I believe. I personally believe in science which has proven that homosexuality is indeed natural. 
Reply
:iconthefoxysquirrel:
thefoxysquirrel Jan 3, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Proven? Simply because it happens in nature? Lol

So does shitting everwhere, cannibalism, incest, eating ones own young... all happens in nature. Kids naturally bully each other, steal, are rude, etc, unless they are taught otherwise. All is done "naturally." Simply because something happens naturally does not make it right. so.... what is "right"? It certainly isnt simply what is natural...

Lol. Your scientific proof is airtight 0_o

Again i assert.... you have no idea why you believe what you believe.
Reply
:iconlalunabluena:
Lalunabluena Mar 22, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
The main difference between the examples you gave and homosexuality is that the examples you gave are bound to effect people in a negative way. The only negative effects that homosexuality have are ones that don't come from being homosexual and that gay couples cant give birth. Which is a legit reason to hate them in the middle ages or some other time period were humans were an underpopulated species. But now there are 7 billion humans on  the planet, I don't think we need more by giving birth. (and I'm not saying that people who want to have kids by giving birth should not do what they want to do). Plus there is pretty much nothing wrong with adoption other than it's not for everyone.

The only reason why people hate gays now is because they think it's gross or they are very clingy to traditions and the past. I'm not saying that everything that has to do with the past is bad. But unnecessary traditions that have a easy to find negative effect should just be given up on. Which will involve the painful process of change. But a lot of the time change is necessary.

And before you make the two arguments that curing a homosexual from his or her condition counts as change and that I am oppressing your right to believe in whatever you want I will say:
"curing" a homosexual from his or her "condition" does not count because it is rooted in a hatred from the past and I didn't say that all change is fine and necessary.
I'm not oppressing your right to believe in whatever you want because the belief that I'm making an argument against is bound to oppress the right for many people to harmlessly love who they want too.  
         
Reply
Add a Comment: